I love you Papa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Don't know what I didn't do right,

I don't know when I went wrong,

But today, when I hear those stories,

I feel we should have got along.

All the moments spent in silence,

Uncomfortable, no words exchanged,

Empty conversations to fill spaces,

When did we get so estranged?

 

Today, as I sit miles away from you,

They tell me all that you used to do-

Taking them out for movies and dinners,

Making stupefying diwali fire-crackers.

Caring for them as much as no other,

Rushing them to hospitals, leaving all the work,

My eyes turn foggy as tears well up,

And here starts- an endless guesswork.

 

When did we turn to strangers?

Everything was so blissfully perfect!

When the advertisement pops up on the television,

I screamed along, " My papa, Army Man!

Days and nights spent under you,

My evolution and growth holding your hand,

We grew distant with time, crumbling

and sifting away like the gritty sand.

 

We walked and talked every Monday,

as you showed me the prons and the cons of driving.

Those frequent car rides in the evenings from street to street,

The special tarts for me that you got

Your shirt and big boots on my lil feet,

The way you cradled me in your strong arms,

The bedtime mango shake so sweet,

as you hugged me tight to keep me warm.

 

Today, when I talk to you over the phone,

I search for the right words,

And it never lasts for more than three minutes,

Like a conversation between cowards.

Sometimes, we dont talk at all

and it makes no difference.

Because you're in your world, and I'm in mine,

and it hides each other's absence.

 

There were times when I craved for your love,

I begged for your attention and trust,

Slowly, farther and farther we grew apart,

Wonderful past memories turning to dust.

I wish I could go back in time,

mend the bends, right the wrongs,

So that when I see you next, I'd see

not a stranger, but someone to whom I belong.

 

Now, when I hear these stories,

I stare blank at them, speechless,

Fighting these tears in my eyes,

Pangs of agony and distress.

There's a part of you I was missing for months,

As I left your hand and walked away.

Will you hold me and never let go of me

When I come running back to you today?

 

Or will you stand like a stranger in the dark,

Not knowing what's happening and who I am?